Sanity Revoked

Mystery Solved after YEARS

2010-07-03T09:26:00.001-07:00

Long ago, when big D was little, my sister and I went to have glamour photos done together. It was a lot of fun and we loved how the pictures turned out. We came home with hair and makeup still done and my youngest kept giving me suspicious looks. Finally he told me he didn't like me like that, "You look like one of those women who walk on the road."

?!?
Is my little tiny boy telling me I look like a streetwalker?! How, Why could he ever know about such a thing?!

I told (retold?) my parents about this recently while big D was in the room. Wow, a discomfiting mystery of years finally cleared up! Know what he said? "Yeah, you looked like those women on TV that walk on that little ramp or whatever. You know, they model clothes."

Go Look For It

2010-07-03T09:20:00.000-07:00

When you tell your child to go look for something, he may have to be taught how to do that. Many children glance around and say whatever they're looking for isn't there. Cody took that one step further - I saw him standing still just staring at one spot. "You'll have to look harder than that!" I told him. He did all right; he tightened all his face muscles, squinted his eyes, and thrust his head forward a bit. Looking harder!
This little guy is unreal sometimes, I spend most of my time laughing!

Teen Tip

2010-06-29T21:23:00.000-07:00

Once your boy is old enough and strong enough to beat you in arm wrestling, let him gloat and feel manly. You can gloat too - he's now ready to call on for the hard and heavy chores. You just matter of factly say, "Will you please carry this to the car, it's heavy and you're stronger than I am," or "We need the furniture moved so the carpet can be cleaned. You're stronger than I am so you move it and I'll show you where it goes."

Lovely days every time another boy grows old enough for the heavy work. Just be sure they make more boy babies to add to the supply!

A Child's Reality - It's A Different World

2010-06-29T18:46:00.001-07:00

Obvious, open rebellion isn't always what it seems. Whenever big A announced bedtime to Cody X, little Cody would announce back, "It is NOT bedtime." When he was told his friend wasn't outside to play, he announced, "He IS outside waiting for me." One day, it finally became clear to me what he was thinking and doing. I had told him he couldn't go outside because it was raining - true to form, he announced, "It is NOT raining," but then ran to the door and flung it open. He saw the rain and dejectedly admitted that it was raining. He looked so bewildered and sad. I had heard the tone in his voice when he announced that it was not raining and realized he had expected that pronouncing it to not be raining would make it not rain! After all, Dad did that, didn't he? Dad announces bedtime and ta-da! Cody has to go to bed. Dad announces dinnertime and there is food on the table, ready to eat.
What my grandson had thought is that Dad was showing him a great way to make life the way he wanted; he tried it and ended up getting in trouble for being mouthy! No wonder the poor kid was confused. We started making sure to 'wonder aloud' about something and go check before we told him something so that he could understand. For example, I would say, let's look out the window and see if it's raining or sunny today," and lift him up to see with me. Big A would tell him to bring the clock so he could check whether or not it was bedtime and then say, "Bedtime!" or "Almost but not yet. Five more minutes." The little one couldn't read time or even understand it, but at least he could start realizing it wasn't a magic thing Daddy did - Daddy checked to find out. (My son thought it was very funny so sometimes he was happy to let it look like Daddy magic. Okay, I admit it. So did I!)

What's REALLY Important

2010-05-03T11:06:00.000-07:00

Cody X came running in from playing outside to tell Daddy, "Daddy, it's a really nice day today. It's not raining or snowing or bedtime!"

Daddy Grew What?!

2010-01-26T11:37:00.001-08:00

Some of the things little kids come up with are just so strange!

He just told me that when he was 'born' in his mommy's tummy, he grew bigger and bigger. Then he added, "And when Daddy was born in MY tummy, he grew bigger and bigger and BIGGER. He grew bigger than me. And he grew a big butt, lots and lots of inches. Then he exploded me and he came out of my tummy."

I have no problem with him thinking he could have had a baby, no problem that he doesn't understand he couldn't have had daddy as a baby, he'll figure all that out. What I don't get is why he thinks daddy grew a big butt! What?! His dad is slim, Cody X even says his dad is not fat so where did that even COME from? Little kids steal your sanity because they don't have any of their own to work with...

CAUGHT!

2010-01-20T18:39:00.001-08:00

My granddaughter had spent most of the day yelling at and bossing her little brother around. When I made her stop yet again, she defended herself saying haughtily, "All sisters want to take care of their brothers and make sure they're safe." I watched her for a moment and said, "That's true sometimes. But that's not what you're doing, is it? You just want to boss him around!" She tried to hide her grin but it was so big she couldn't. She hid her face, then started rolling around on the sofa and complained, "HOW do you people always find out these things?!"

Erased Your Brain?

2010-01-20T18:23:00.000-08:00

My friend went for an MRI on her ankle; she took her two youngest, thinking she could talk to them about what was happening. Instead, the children had to wait in a waiting room. The staff brought them a little treat, gave them books and magazines to occupy themselves and watched over them while my friend was in there.

When she came out, she tried to gather things and get them all out quickly, trying to keep the kids quiet while she dealt with the paperwork. But her little 5 year old daughter kept asking, "What's our names, Mommy?" "Don't be silly, you know your names, and so do I." Little S persisted with her question until they were on their way out and my friend answered with annoyance, "You're little S, he's J, WHY?!" She was surprised to see her little one so relieved and even more surprised when her daughter responded, "Oh, good! I thought that machine erased your brain and you would forget us and then you would go marry someone else besides Daddy!"

Trained Into Reclusion?

2010-01-07T13:00:00.000-08:00

Finally, FINALLY I took Cody X to the library activity day for children. It was great, he had fun. At first he wouldn't go in, I told him he could play with other kids or spend all his time with an old, boring Grandma. He chose boring Grandma. But I took him in anyway and he even participated.

If he were a naturally reclusive, introverted boy, there would be no problem but he isn't. I don't want him to miss out on things that will enrich his life just because that's how I am. I'm thinking big D isn't quite as introverted as he thinks either. It was so familiar when he started becoming that way that I let it happen but seeing baby D (Cody X) made me realize I had too much to do with that; it wasn't his natural way. Time to make a plan of action.

Natural Male Authority?

2010-01-02T11:03:00.000-08:00

Big D didn't want to go with me somewhere and said in a silly, deep voice, "I'm not going this time. I make the rules around here, can't you tell? I'm speaking in a deep voice so I'm in charge!"

More Teen Goodies

2009-12-22T07:56:00.000-08:00

Long ago, at Christmas when my stepson was 14, a button came off of his shirt so he asked me for some needle and thread to put it back on. He wanted to try to do it himself. I had thread but for some reason couldn't find a needle. He thought for a moment, then reached up to the Christmas tree beside him and took a pine needle, made an eye in it with his pocket knife, threaded it and sewed the button back on! It worked quite well and his inventiveness impressed me.

Teens Are Funny Too

2009-12-22T06:43:00.000-08:00

My son and I were discussing a church near us that has the usual two different types of services: one contemporary, one traditional. The odd thing was that this one has the contemporary service first, at 8:30 a.m. Usually it's the other way around. My son asked me why they would want the loud, hyper music so early and he mimicked being loud and happy. Then he closed his eyes and pretended he was singing a slow, heartfelt gospel song. Suddenly his eyes flew open and he said, "OH. That's it! They don't want you to fall asleep."

They Start So Early!

2009-12-11T06:51:00.000-08:00

I had my grandson at my friend's house to play with her little girl Sarah. My friend asked, "Is your uncle, big D, your best, best friend? Isn't he awesome?"
"Yes," Cody X answered. He pointed to Sarah and said, "And she's awesome." Then he pointed to my friend and said, "And S, you're beautiful."

We have a movie with a karaoke part. Cody X kept wanting me to play one person singing over and over. Know why? "She's a girl. I LOVE girls!" This was before his birthday, he was still only three years old!

Good About Girls

2009-12-10T18:02:00.000-08:00

Boys I'm used to. Admittedly, there were times when I had this niggling fear that God might "punish" me somehow for putting so many obnoxious males out in the world, but then they grew up a bit more. For the most part, I am grateful that all my kids are boys, completely glad. I took care of a couple of little girls over the years and can hardly believe how much I dislike raising girls! In general they've seemed bossy, devious, greedy and mean. Now that I have my little granddaughter, I'm trying to find something special about girls and it's been difficult. But then...

The kids were playing cops and they were "unresting" us (arresting). Little A went to her dad's girlfriend and said, "Put out your hands young lady," then she came to me and said the same thing. I said, "But I'm not young." Don't you figure she would say, "Then put out your hands old lady"? She didn't. She looked at me for a moment, thinking, then said, "Put out your hands, lady."

THIS is one thing little girls can understand that little boys definitely do not. TACT!

WHAT'S in your water bottle?

2009-12-09T09:13:00.000-08:00

Yet another example of the ways littles can steal your sanity, what do you say to things like this?

My little grandson was thirsty so I gave him water in a clear water bottle. After a bit I heard him yell from the kitchen, "Ooh, yuck! What's THIS? What is this in my water bottle?" I went in to see if he had somehow gotten crumbs or something in it, there was nothing in it. Nothing. He took it and looked at it and yelped out in horror - "It's still there Grandma. It's a dead killer whale!"

This next one was my fault. I was playing a video game and got hit by an enemy because I made a dumb move. I said, "Oh, you retarded Tia (my name)." Now when someone plays that game, he warns them to watch out for the retarded Tias!

Too Cold Outside? Bring Outside In!

2009-12-08T18:25:00.000-08:00

We finally, FINALLY have some real snow. Still only a couple of inches deep but that makes it hard enough to drive. I tried to get Cody X out in the snow but he's not much for the cold. Instead of insisting and going through all the hassle of a snowsuit, boots (his good ones were left at his mother's house anyway), gloves, scarf, hat - just thinking about it is a pain. So. Instead. We brought the snow INSIDE.

We used plastic storage containers, hard plastic juice cans, and various sizes of coffee containers to pack and shape the snow into a castle. He spent about an hour playing with his Playmobil knights with his castle; then enjoyed watching its appearance change as it went from white to clear; and at last was finished when there was more water on the plate than snow. It lasted way longer than I had expected and now I can hardly wait for Mermaid (Little A) and Edison (big D) to get home and experiment some more. Though those two love to be outside in the wind, rain, snow, lightning; they won't mind building outside. They can probably entice Cody X out in it more easily than I can. Still, it was so much fun building inside with snow.

Can't Call Him The Baby Anymore

2009-12-08T10:15:00.000-08:00

Today is Baby D's birthday - he's four. Three might not seem like a baby to some but now even to me he's really not. I'm sure we'll still call "Babies! Time for dinner!" but really, sad though it may be, they're not quite babies anymore. Not Beautiful Babies. Not even really Teeny Tiny Toddler Tots. Now we're only going to be able to say The Littles, Tiny People, and Precious Ones. Guess now he'll be Cody X.

Experimenting With Baby Brains

2009-11-16T09:56:00.001-08:00

When I was taking a psychology class and my boys were little, I tried one of the psychology experiments on them. I had three of my boys and one of their friends, ages just turned 7, just turned 5, the friend was almost 5 and my little one was 2 1/2. The experiment was to take each child separately and give them a cookie and myself two cookies. Then I asked, "Is that fair?" with no inflection. The baby happily started munching his cookie and didn't care.
The friend's turn: - No, it's not fair. You have more than me.
I reached over, right in front of him and broke his in half, then asked again, "Is that fair?"
He happily replied, "Yes, now we both have two!"

My five year old's turn started the same way, he agreed it was now fair once I broke the cookie right in front of him. But he hesitated for a moment, reached out a finger and pushed one of his cookie halves toward the other. He stopped, looked at my plate, looked at his again and pushed the halves together. Then he said, "Hey! That's not fair! I have two cookies but I really don't. It's really just ONE." I gave him a second cookie.

My seven year old just looked at me when I tried him, raised his eyebrow and said, "Oh, please." LOL!

It was great, we did four experiments and I got to watch my five year old as he teetered on the cusp of this new understanding of conservation of matter.

Just a few days ago, my son (the 7 year old who is now 27) impulsively tried this with my five year old granddaughter and three year old grandson. He broke the three year old's cookie in half and asked if it was fair. My granddaughter told her brother, "It IS fair. You really only have one cookie but he made it two." She's almost six so it was easier for her to get it but she still thought it was kind of fair even though she had a very doubtful look on her face. I can't help but think she might have had a different opinion if it had been her that got only one cookie!

Preschool Crafts and Activities

2009-11-13T13:04:00.000-08:00

Currclick has some great activities for preschoolers. I've bought (or gotten free for their weekly freebie) the polar bear activity book and the tiger activity book. The littles learned about the animals and enjoyed it a great deal, then we made craft polar bears and hand puppet tigers.

I also got a phonics bingo game which is coming in handy while my granddaughter is learning to read in kindergarten. There are real photos of many things and letters to match for the starting sounds of those photos. I use the capital and lower case letters too, both the littles like to match them. I cut out the letters in circle shape and stuck them into milk cap lids (not the grocery store gallons, these are larger lids from delivered milk) so that they're easier to handle and more fun for little ones.

Be sure to preview the product before you buy, some items are full of spelling errors. This is especially important to catch if you're buying for homeschooling older kids. I've been impressed with Hands Of A Child lapbooks especially, and Intelligo's The Baroque Era. I didn't use Intelligo because my son went to public school this year but it is well done.

Dealing With The Sulks

2009-11-13T12:59:00.000-08:00

When your kid gets a mopey face because he doesn't like what you've told him it can be irritating. Instead of being annoyed though, use that time. While he or she is plopped down on the floor or sofa in a sulk, use that time to get the laundry out of the dryer, read a couple of pages in your book, get that check written or make that phone call. Either you'll get something done or your little one will realize it isn't working and quit the moping and go back to playing.

Costumes Make Great Gifts!

2009-11-05T18:06:00.000-08:00

Now while Halloween costumes and such are on a major sale (75% off!) is a good time to buy little princess, ninja, Star Wars, whatever kind of costume you can still find available that your child will like. Add the costume to a movie and/or toys of the same theme and you have gifts ready for Christmas or a birthday. You can also save it for a young friend's or young relative's birthday party, or pack it away for a day when everyone's suffering winter cabin fever and would really like the little ones occupied with something new!

"b" and "d" confusion

2009-11-02T17:42:00.001-08:00

When little children learn to write and read, one frequent problem is confusing lower case "b" and "d". Here's a helpful saying:
"b" has a big belly; "d" has a daunting derrière.
It helps to draw pictures of these letters in character, for example draw a letter b with a lighter drawing as part of it that shows a person with a big belly walking forward. For the d, draw someone with a big backside (but don't call it a backside, butt, or bottom, that will mess it up entirely!) walking in the same direction.They will learn the words daunting and derrière along with the right way to form these letters and hopefully it will be a bit funny too.

I would draw examples for you but I'm no artist - actually I'm specifically not an artist. I did try but in real life, I always had their dad draw them for me.

Avoid A Carpet Made Of Clothing

2009-10-29T17:42:00.000-07:00

Little girls love to change clothes several times a day. The discarded clothing will be thrown on the floor, including the shirt she just looked at and decided she didn't want to wear. The clothes she wore for fifteen minutes will be thrown on the floor too, mixed in with the clothes she had on all day at school or out in the yard that are dirty and food-stained. Not only will the aforementioned clothing be strewn over the carpet from dresser to closet to door, also mixed in will be the clothes that fell out as she dragged things from her dresser for consideration.

Boys don't do this.

Boys DO throw all clothes on the floor however, including the clothes they were supposed to put away.

I've found a way to avoid this for the most part. The littles (3 yo boy, 5 yo girl) do not have access to their clothes! All their clothes are in my room, sorted properly, in their own places. In the hallway is a small set of shelves - THIS is where they get their daily outfits. On these shelves I put one outfit for my grandson, and two or three for my granddaughter. This includes underwear, socks, pants/skirt, and blouse or shirt. Any clothing found on the floor is easy to identify even by the children; they know where to put it when they're sent back to do so. My granddaughter knows whether or not she wore it that day or knocked it off while gathering up the items from the other outfit. The time of day makes it clear too; in the morning, any clothes on the floor are the clean ones she dropped, in the evening we can tell by what she wore that day or what is missing from an outfit on the shelf.

This is a pain at times but NEVER as much of a pain as reported by mothers who let their children have access to all their clothes. They often don't remember what color carpet is in the kids' rooms or even if they have carpet at all!

Messing With Babies' Heads

2009-10-27T08:23:00.000-07:00

Little children can be a lot of fun - ask a three year old to look at his mouth and see if it's clean. Don't mention a mirror, just watch as he rolls his eyes all around trying to see his face.

Ask him "what's that on your back?" and enjoy watching him spin in circles trying to see just like a little kitten chasing its tail.

Glove Season

2009-10-27T08:00:00.000-07:00

Just a tip - unless you live in Southern California or Florida, stock up on those cheap little stretch gloves that are sold two or three pairs for a dollar. Whenever you have a spare bit of change, grab a few. You can choose one color per child and have a box of these gloves, when they lose one of their good, thick gloves, at least there's a pair of these. You don't have to worry about left or right, just turn it to fit the correct hand.

It's entirely possible to buy ALL of them in one color so it doesn't matter which child needs a glove, they can just grab one from the box. Either way works but you will want different colors for different sizes. Tiny ones in one color for the very small kids, a different color for the older larger kids. You want to be able to quickly grab a matching pair since they won't tell you until the last minute that they lost their gloves.

You'll want to keep a generic jacket and a pair or two of these gloves in the car too. You know that one of kids will end up losing, ruining, or forgetting a jacket or gloves when you go somewhere. Plus it's always wise to have an extra in case of emergency (car breaks down, etc.).