Mystery Solved after YEARS

Long ago, when big D was little, my sister and I went to have glamour photos done together. It was a lot of fun and we loved how the pictures turned out. We came home with hair and makeup still done and my youngest kept giving me suspicious looks. Finally he told me he didn't like me like that, "You look like one of those women who walk on the road."

?!?
Is my little tiny boy telling me I look like a streetwalker?! How, Why could he ever know about such a thing?!

I told (retold?) my parents about this recently while big D was in the room. Wow, a discomfiting mystery of years finally cleared up! Know what he said? "Yeah, you looked like those women on TV that walk on that little ramp or whatever. You know, they model clothes."

Go Look For It

When you tell your child to go look for something, he may have to be taught how to do that. Many children glance around and say whatever they're looking for isn't there. Cody took that one step further - I saw him standing still just staring at one spot. "You'll have to look harder than that!" I told him. He did all right; he tightened all his face muscles, squinted his eyes, and thrust his head forward a bit. Looking harder!
This little guy is unreal sometimes, I spend most of my time laughing!

Teen Tip

Once your boy is old enough and strong enough to beat you in arm wrestling, let him gloat and feel manly. You can gloat too - he's now ready to call on for the hard and heavy chores. You just matter of factly say, "Will you please carry this to the car, it's heavy and you're stronger than I am," or "We need the furniture moved so the carpet can be cleaned. You're stronger than I am so you move it and I'll show you where it goes."

Lovely days every time another boy grows old enough for the heavy work. Just be sure they make more boy babies to add to the supply!

A Child's Reality - It's A Different World

Obvious, open rebellion isn't always what it seems. Whenever big A announced bedtime to Cody X, little Cody would announce back, "It is NOT bedtime." When he was told his friend wasn't outside to play, he announced, "He IS outside waiting for me." One day, it finally became clear to me what he was thinking and doing. I had told him he couldn't go outside because it was raining - true to form, he announced, "It is NOT raining," but then ran to the door and flung it open. He saw the rain and dejectedly admitted that it was raining. He looked so bewildered and sad. I had heard the tone in his voice when he announced that it was not raining and realized he had expected that pronouncing it to not be raining would make it not rain! After all, Dad did that, didn't he? Dad announces bedtime and ta-da! Cody has to go to bed. Dad announces dinnertime and there is food on the table, ready to eat.
What my grandson had thought is that Dad was showing him a great way to make life the way he wanted; he tried it and ended up getting in trouble for being mouthy! No wonder the poor kid was confused. We started making sure to 'wonder aloud' about something and go check before we told him something so that he could understand. For example, I would say, let's look out the window and see if it's raining or sunny today," and lift him up to see with me. Big A would tell him to bring the clock so he could check whether or not it was bedtime and then say, "Bedtime!" or "Almost but not yet. Five more minutes." The little one couldn't read time or even understand it, but at least he could start realizing it wasn't a magic thing Daddy did - Daddy checked to find out. (My son thought it was very funny so sometimes he was happy to let it look like Daddy magic. Okay, I admit it. So did I!)

What's REALLY Important

Cody X came running in from playing outside to tell Daddy, "Daddy, it's a really nice day today. It's not raining or snowing or bedtime!"

Daddy Grew What?!

Some of the things little kids come up with are just so strange!

He just told me that when he was 'born' in his mommy's tummy, he grew bigger and bigger. Then he added, "And when Daddy was born in MY tummy, he grew bigger and bigger and BIGGER. He grew bigger than me. And he grew a big butt, lots and lots of inches. Then he exploded me and he came out of my tummy."

I have no problem with him thinking he could have had a baby, no problem that he doesn't understand he couldn't have had daddy as a baby, he'll figure all that out. What I don't get is why he thinks daddy grew a big butt! What?! His dad is slim, Cody X even says his dad is not fat so where did that even COME from? Little kids steal your sanity because they don't have any of their own to work with...

CAUGHT!

My granddaughter had spent most of the day yelling at and bossing her little brother around. When I made her stop yet again, she defended herself saying haughtily, "All sisters want to take care of their brothers and make sure they're safe." I watched her for a moment and said, "That's true sometimes. But that's not what you're doing, is it? You just want to boss him around!" She tried to hide her grin but it was so big she couldn't. She hid her face, then started rolling around on the sofa and complained, "HOW do you people always find out these things?!"