Obvious, open rebellion isn't always what it seems. Whenever big A announced bedtime to Cody X, little Cody would announce back, "It is NOT bedtime." When he was told his friend wasn't outside to play, he announced, "He IS outside waiting for me." One day, it finally became clear to me what he was thinking and doing. I had told him he couldn't go outside because it was raining - true to form, he announced, "It is NOT raining," but then ran to the door and flung it open. He saw the rain and dejectedly admitted that it was raining. He looked so bewildered and sad. I had heard the tone in his voice when he announced that it was not raining and realized he had expected that pronouncing it to not be raining would make it not rain! After all, Dad did that, didn't he? Dad announces bedtime and ta-da! Cody has to go to bed. Dad announces dinnertime and there is food on the table, ready to eat.
What my grandson had thought is that Dad was showing him a great way to make life the way he wanted; he tried it and ended up getting in trouble for being mouthy! No wonder the poor kid was confused. We started making sure to 'wonder aloud' about something and go check before we told him something so that he could understand. For example, I would say, let's look out the window and see if it's raining or sunny today," and lift him up to see with me. Big A would tell him to bring the clock so he could check whether or not it was bedtime and then say, "Bedtime!" or "Almost but not yet. Five more minutes." The little one couldn't read time or even understand it, but at least he could start realizing it wasn't a magic thing Daddy did - Daddy checked to find out. (My son thought it was very funny so sometimes he was happy to let it look like Daddy magic. Okay, I admit it. So did I!)
